I found this note in my husband’s car and I immediately took interest. “Wow, a note written by hand. When was the last time my husband received a hand-written note?” I thought. It was left under the windshield wiper after he parked his car in a congested neighborhood in Queens. It turns out someone had a pen and was able to find a piece of paper on which to write the note!
I once tried to write a note while sitting in my car, but I couldn’t find a pen. And forget about paper…unless I wanted to write on takeout menus in the glove compartment. I was stuck. In a twisted sense, I was very glad to see this note. Can you see how polite this person was? And this happened in New York City?
Growing up before the digital age arrived, I kept a spiral notebook handy for notes and such. Now, I don’t exactly know how to raise my kids in a world where a majority of our communication consists of texts and brief posts. Our social behaviors are dictated by tech giants. Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook and Google’s YouTube have influenced the way we see and relate to people. What will become of us in a few decades? We are first-generation parents that have to figure this all out!
When I first created my Facebook account nearly ten years ago, I felt a bit uneasy.
“Oh no, someone I haven’t talked to for ages just ‘friended’ me…but I don’t have enough time in my day to keep in touch with this person!” I panicked. I was up to my eyeballs raising toddlers.
“You are under no obligation to contact or respond to the person.” a friend and seasoned FB user said to me. “It’s very okay to ignore them. It’s Facebook. Relax.”
“Really? We can be friends on FB and never bother to talk to each other?” Odd, isn’t it?
About a year ago, I read on the news that FB users complained about the solo Like button. “How can we “like” a post when it’s about something tragic?” they objected. But people continued to “like” the passing of loved ones, for example, and we all understood what it meant. They didn’t really like the news, but they had no other way of expressing their condolences.
Within months, Facebook launched an array of new expressions (aside from the traditional Like) – Love, Haha (my personal favorite), Wow, Sad and Angry. Mercifully, there is no Dislike, unlike with YouTube.
My son was sad when he noticed one Dislike on one of his YouTube videos. “What sick people would do that to a kid?!” I exploded within.
“Well, Jeremy, when you put yourself out there like that, you have to accept whatever opinions people have of you. You cannot take it personally.” I calmly explained, thinking of it as a “teaching moment.” Welcome to parenting in the 21st century.
I don’t share much about my personal life on social media, but somehow I am psychologically programmed to want to document my life and share it with the world. I upgraded one of our phones for the sole purpose of getting a new camera. Yet, my day is so full that the bizarre urge to share every moment of my life is halted by the kids’ schooling, endless laundry, and a sink full of dirty dishes. Who wants to read about school, laundry, and dirty dishes anyway?
I really love what Sarah Jakes Robert wrote:
“Social media is not a place for validation and self-esteem boosts. Building your confidence on likes and esteem from comments is a recipe for a dangerous cocktail.
Avoid the intoxication that comes with being universally accepted and challenge your heart to seek wholeness from above, validation from good deeds, and guidance from trusted sources.
Don’t feel compelled to make your life an open book if you’re not prepared for the discussion that comes along with it.
Some things are better left treasured in your heart until you can handle the scrutiny that comes with being exposed.”
Some things are better left treasured in our heart. Amen.
I read somewhere that on average, Americans check their phone 150 times a day, or about 10 times an hour. I know I am not in a good place mentally when I find myself refreshing my e-mail every five seconds. Get a life, lady.
Many parents gripe about their kids’ excessive screen time. How about our own screen time? Studies show that the amount of time a child spends on a mobile device is in direct proportion to that of their parents.
When my children were old enough to crawl or walk, they would climb on top of me as soon as I sat behind my laptop. When I stood up and moved around, they would then leave me alone. I remember yelling at them for it, and would quickly regret doing so. What did they do wrong? They simply wanted to know what was so fascinating about the screen I spent so much time staring at.
Then I made a decision – I would only use the computer during their naptime and after they went to bed. When they were up and about, I would be up and about. They would be my top priority during their waking hours. That decision alone has translated to a peaceful home and has effected the close relationships I have with my children. Here is a simple truth – children often act up when they want attention.
Nowadays I put away my phone after dinner and silence all notifications except for texts and phone calls. I resist the urge for obsessive communication. I want to live my life hands free.